Monday, February 2, 2009

Just Shut The Fuck Up...

I would like to take the opportunity to respond to a blog written by the constant douchebag, the 'Karen' of our group. Louise. And i will apologise now for making you read this stupid blog below.

its the man who sells the potions, im just the one who plays the songs
Well I'm surprised at myself.In a good way, I think.I managed to take some pretty heavy...well I guess you'd call them warnings, constructive criticism i suppose, about the way I act.It was well...pretty sucky, but I decided not to grovel in a hole and just try to not be so annoying lol.So for all of yesterday, I thought before I spoke. Like, literally proccessed conscious thought on what I might say, I think I was better. I know I did keep stuff in my head, cos I was ratttling on about myself again, which I suppose is a good start, cos that was one of the main points- I never shut up.I started wondering why I talk so much, so ridiculously muchly.I had a thought (shock horror). I think it has something to do with being insecure.Like, at the point of insecurity where it doesn't make me zip my lip and be all shy, but it makes me talk endlessly, looking for affirmation in reply.And everytime I don't get what I perceive to be enough of that affirmation to fill up the tank and make me happy to be who I am, the more I keep talking random shit about myself.I'm attention seeking, basically.I've always hated that phrase, but I guess its not a spiteful kind of attention seeking, its derived from insecurity.I don't think I've always been like this, or maybe I've just not been aware of it.It's an interesting place to be, at the moment I'm in a good mindset, of working on it, learning to shut up and listen at the trivial moments, not just the heart-break moments.And I feel pretty good this morning.I love VET. Oh my gosh, I love it.I'm doing vetamorphus, certificate three in ministry and theology, which means I have to do bible readings every night and a journal, to fulfil the course requirements.I'm gonna read the whole new testament! It's rather exciting.More exciting than that though, is this:I'm enjoying it!'Quite honestly, reading my bible has become something of a very sleepy chore.I would much rather stay up lying in bed talking to God then I would reading the bible, sometimes it puts me to sleep.But we've been given massive study bibles and half the page is bible and half the page is notes and info and cool stuff. And the info is written really interestingly, more like my style.And it makes everything more interesting, shows how its all connected and makes more of it make sense. I've been a christian since I was seven, and I've never known this stuff!It's really really exciting and I'm so glad I'm doing it.<3glitter

I am yet to see any change in your immature attitude and considerable disregard for the feelings of others. So i dont think you have any right to say that you have made any considerable effort to change. Perhaps you should grovel in that whole...maybe then you will shut the fuck up.

Oh My God, You Did What!?!?! For An Entire Day?!?!?! Thought before you spoke, and kept thoughts to yourself? Would you care to let the rest of us in on what day this was, as im sure we missed it.

Honestly, what are you so insecure about? If it's friendships, I'll help you out, we dont like you. Your image? Lose some weight. God knows there wouldnt be too much else to be insecure about. I hope you soon realise that your 'attention seeking' is really just annoying, and if you are looking for people to talk about you behind your back, to have only 'friends' and to continue thinking that you are so much better than everyone else, when really you should just grow the fuck up.

Now i can see a response to this that will say...'You say i should grow up, and yet you tell me all of this on a blog, thats even more immature'. My answer? I have told you, many times, to our face, that you should grow up, becuase you are an immature cunt. And yes, that probably is a bit harsh, but not much.

I must applaud you. You say you will make an effort to shut up about yourself, and then the remainder of the blog is completley and utterly about yourself. Now that is self-centered. Nice work douchebag.

Thats all for now, and i really wish i could say im sorry, and that im just being stupid and that none of this is true. But im afraid it is true, and i am so far from sorry. I can honestly say that if i never saw you ever again, i would not shed a tear, not even frown. How does it feel Louise? Your the new Josh...

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