Grandpa

Well...my grandpa has finally gone home, back to Mt. Gambier. Mum took him back on tuesday after he had been told he had anywhere from weeks to years to live. Helpful. But yeah, i am happy that he is back home, and that i dont have to babysit him anymore, but im still waiting for the phonecall telling me he is dead, and i feel bad...I guess i cant help that though.

I am offically sick, and it is ghay.

*cough cough*

*gives world my cold*

Louise

Now, this will be another blog aimed at our new 'Josh'. I would just like to let the world know, that she has decided to take a break from blogging *collective sigh of relief*. But, i do know that the chances of this are very small...We can hope though... I also know that she will no doubt read this. So Louise...here is my message to you. You should take a look around, i am not the only one who was masquerading as your friend. And right now, Harrisson's name is running through your head, Yes? Well there are others, others who just dont have the balls to tell you to shut up, or that they really do not like you. So keep your eyes open, the hints are all there, look hard and smart enough and you should find pretty easily who your 'true' friends are, and i can tell you right now, i dont think any of them are in 1107. At least not the ones you think. And no...i am not shit stirring, i am just making it easier for them to tell you what they really think. So here is your chance people. Let her know...

I used to love you Louise, back when we were all as immature you, but seriously...Grow the fuck up.

...

I am so confused...No shit..Like actual

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

This is actually really hurting me... I almost cant stand to be around you, thats how much it hurts. And i know that you will never ever want to take our relationship further, and i dont honestly know if i want to, but i know i cant stay like this for too much longer. I also know that if i tell you, how i feel then what happened last time will happen again, and it would kill me. I need to tell you, just to take this weight off my chest, but i dont know if i can...

Hmmm...

I think i have kinda figured out the reason for my endless string of meaningless relationships with people who i know do not love me for me. I love you...we shall call you mr x, i have kind of know this for some time, but everytime i am doing anything with anyone i just think, god why couldn't this be mr x. I also know that it is incredibly cowardly of me not to tell you, but i just dont want to damage our friendship, you will never read this of course...I dont know, i really do love you though, i would do absolutley anything for you, and i meand anything. You really do mean the world to me... Ilysfmmf

Just Shut The Fuck Up...

I would like to take the opportunity to respond to a blog written by the constant douchebag, the 'Karen' of our group. Louise. And i will apologise now for making you read this stupid blog below.

its the man who sells the potions, im just the one who plays the songs
Well I'm surprised at myself.In a good way, I think.I managed to take some pretty heavy...well I guess you'd call them warnings, constructive criticism i suppose, about the way I act.It was well...pretty sucky, but I decided not to grovel in a hole and just try to not be so annoying lol.So for all of yesterday, I thought before I spoke. Like, literally proccessed conscious thought on what I might say, I think I was better. I know I did keep stuff in my head, cos I was ratttling on about myself again, which I suppose is a good start, cos that was one of the main points- I never shut up.I started wondering why I talk so much, so ridiculously muchly.I had a thought (shock horror). I think it has something to do with being insecure.Like, at the point of insecurity where it doesn't make me zip my lip and be all shy, but it makes me talk endlessly, looking for affirmation in reply.And everytime I don't get what I perceive to be enough of that affirmation to fill up the tank and make me happy to be who I am, the more I keep talking random shit about myself.I'm attention seeking, basically.I've always hated that phrase, but I guess its not a spiteful kind of attention seeking, its derived from insecurity.I don't think I've always been like this, or maybe I've just not been aware of it.It's an interesting place to be, at the moment I'm in a good mindset, of working on it, learning to shut up and listen at the trivial moments, not just the heart-break moments.And I feel pretty good this morning.I love VET. Oh my gosh, I love it.I'm doing vetamorphus, certificate three in ministry and theology, which means I have to do bible readings every night and a journal, to fulfil the course requirements.I'm gonna read the whole new testament! It's rather exciting.More exciting than that though, is this:I'm enjoying it!'Quite honestly, reading my bible has become something of a very sleepy chore.I would much rather stay up lying in bed talking to God then I would reading the bible, sometimes it puts me to sleep.But we've been given massive study bibles and half the page is bible and half the page is notes and info and cool stuff. And the info is written really interestingly, more like my style.And it makes everything more interesting, shows how its all connected and makes more of it make sense. I've been a christian since I was seven, and I've never known this stuff!It's really really exciting and I'm so glad I'm doing it.<3glitter

I am yet to see any change in your immature attitude and considerable disregard for the feelings of others. So i dont think you have any right to say that you have made any considerable effort to change. Perhaps you should grovel in that whole...maybe then you will shut the fuck up.

Oh My God, You Did What!?!?! For An Entire Day?!?!?! Thought before you spoke, and kept thoughts to yourself? Would you care to let the rest of us in on what day this was, as im sure we missed it.

Honestly, what are you so insecure about? If it's friendships, I'll help you out, we dont like you. Your image? Lose some weight. God knows there wouldnt be too much else to be insecure about. I hope you soon realise that your 'attention seeking' is really just annoying, and if you are looking for people to talk about you behind your back, to have only 'friends' and to continue thinking that you are so much better than everyone else, when really you should just grow the fuck up.

Now i can see a response to this that will say...'You say i should grow up, and yet you tell me all of this on a blog, thats even more immature'. My answer? I have told you, many times, to our face, that you should grow up, becuase you are an immature cunt. And yes, that probably is a bit harsh, but not much.

I must applaud you. You say you will make an effort to shut up about yourself, and then the remainder of the blog is completley and utterly about yourself. Now that is self-centered. Nice work douchebag.

Thats all for now, and i really wish i could say im sorry, and that im just being stupid and that none of this is true. But im afraid it is true, and i am so far from sorry. I can honestly say that if i never saw you ever again, i would not shed a tear, not even frown. How does it feel Louise? Your the new Josh...

My Mother is a Cow.

She has now decided, that instead of leaving my grandpa in hospital, where people who know how to look after sick people can do just that. That he should come home, and live with us. Which is no hassle really, except that i am left to babysit him -.- . This would also be fine if he wasnt an angry, German, 80-something year old man who is a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Dont get me wrong, i love him and all, i just dont think mum thought 'hmm, hes going to have a heart attack in front of my daughter, with nobody else home, that wouldnt be a traumatic experience for her to have in one of the most important years of her life.' Im probably being selfish, but i dont want to walk into the living room to ask if he wants dinner now to find him on the floor, not breathing and with no pulse. Mum doesnt see it that way though does she...

Sleepy...

I am at the wonderful Lauren's house =D and, as Nathan told me i should make one of these...i did. So Nathan i hope you are happy.